Well firstly Happy New Year to you all, and what a year 2010 was for music. You would have read plenty of end of year lists I imagine, mine included I hope, and debates would have ensued and wild accusations made. I had a fun musical year and I am certainly looking forward to 2011, so going to start with one of my hot tips for the new year, Ben Sommers.
Ben is the madcap genius behind an illustrious concept album entitled ‘Avocado Chip’. A psychedelic folk, acid trip infused story revolving around a post-apocolyptic world. Centralling on just a few colorful characters, the story of the town ‘Starving Jane’ begins and as time goes on, more and more will be revealed. Avocado Chip is released sometime in February and Ben’s lead single from it is ‘Hillary, Oh Hillary’. Now I could rant on about Ben’s muse and main influence for the song, but I think she should tell you herself. I had the pleasure of talking to Hillary and finding more about who she is and what is really going on in this crazy trip called Avocado Chip.
Sourmash: So hello Hilary and thanks so much for doing this interview with me…
Hillary: It’s a pleasure Peter, I was told you were pretty tasty so I agreed to meet with you…
SM: For people who don’t know you, could you maybe tell us a bit about yourself?
H: Well, my name is Hillary Conlint and I live in a town called Starving Jane, over on the south side over looking the ocean. I’ve lived here all my life. I run an adult movie shop called ‘Hillary’s Boudoir’ during the day and early evening. Late evenings and weekends I work as an escort girl, servicing the needs of the men of Starving Jane.
SM: Now I am aware that you were a victim of an unfortunate accident, would you like to tell me more?
H: I guess it could be seen as unfortunate, yes. To be honest it’s put a smile on my face ever since. You see the ruler of Starving Jane, Old Tall Sam, had recently introduced mandatory vaccinations for the townsfolk. We were all told this was to fight a new strain of flu virus that was affecting the area (I’ve since learnt that this was just a cover for injecting people with microchips so they could be tracked and traced). Anyway, I had my appointment on a Tuesday morning. On the way to the Arms Factory, where the appointment was to take place, I’d stopped off at the supermarket and picked up some cigarettes and a bag of Lizard Kings (jelly sweets, kind of like Haribo but shaped like lizards). When I arrived at the Arms factory I finished my cigarette and went inside, completely missing the sign that read ‘NO FOOD OR DRINK ALLOWED ON THE PREMISES’. I sat myself down in the chair and as the procedure began I heard a loud bang and I was knocked unconscious. When I awoke, slightly shaken and a bit wobbly, I felt a bit strange inside. I grabbed a shard of glass to check my reflection, I thought maybe I had cut my head or something when I’d fallen. What I saw was very strange. I’d changed shape almost. I’d grown scales and developed a greenish complexion. I’d become a reptilian type creature.. and boy did I have a taste for blood!!! It turns out that the Lizard Kings had messed with the injection machine and that is what caused the accident!
SM: That sounds awful; it must have had a dramatic impact on your life?
H: It was certainly a shock, but it’s something I got use to very quickly. I’m slowly learning how to control the changing shape bit. When I was young I had a boyfriend who read a lot of comic books and he use to read them to me. One of my favourites was the Incredible Hulk. When the Hulk got angry he changed and that’s exactly what happens to me now. But instead of growing muscles and smashing down brick walls I turn into a six foot lizard and bite men’s cocks off.
Hillary, Oh Hillary
SM: Is it true you now eat men as a direct result of the accident?
H: You know, it’s not as bad as it sounds. I mean yes, I do.. but only the ones who deserve it. Because of my profession I tend to get treated pretty badly by men. Some might argue that this is what they are paying for but really there is no excuse to treat anyone like that.. and so I get to have my revenge on them. Maybe in my heart I feel like I’m doing it for all the women who have wanted to take revenge on a man for whatever reason, but can’t.
SM: Are you able to tell me more about what is going on in Starving Jane at the moment?
H: Oh darling It’s difficult to talk about it to be honest. I’m not sure what’s going on here. Times are changing very quickly. The biggest impact to our lives has been Old Tall Sam’s introduction of these machines he calls Garlics. They have camera’s as heads and they patrol the town, spying on everybody and reporting back to Sam. If anyone is out of line they have the power to detain them. It’s an abuse of power because a lot of the time, at least what I’ve seen, most people are detained without any real reason at all. For example the other week I was up in the main part of the town at the Library looking at some karma sutra books when all of a sudden I heard shouting outside. I went to the window to take a look and there were these three guys just playing Tin Tan Tommy*. They weren’t causing anybody any harm but they were arrested and taken away by a gang of Garlics. I read in the local paper that they had since been sentenced to two years in prison for breach of the peace! I’ve also heard from my friend Higgin’s that some of the food and water supply is being tampered with. Chemicals are being mixed in so the townsfolk ingest it and it makes them more prone to comply rules. But like I said, it’s difficult to talk about it all, you never know who is reading this and if Old Tall Sam knows I’ve spoken to you about this then I could be in a lot of trouble.
SM: I can’t even begin to imagine how tough it must be for all the people in the town, how are you all
H: We manage to put up with it and get on with our lives. You have to make the best of a situation I think. It is getting worse though and I think secretly the townsfolk hope and prey for a hero to stand up to Old Tall Sam and save us all.
SM: What is next for you in the future?
H: I’ve been working on a new range of super dildo’s to sell in my shop. 29 inches of reinforced titanium and a 12 speed vibration setting. I think they will be our top sellers for this year, I’m very excited about them. I’m also working with my friend Higgins on building the towns first robot sex slaves. We have the arms and legs working so far but we’re having problems with the mouths and lips – sometimes the robots get lock-jaw and obviously this has to be fixed before we test them on the public! Their names are Jezebel and Lottie and I’m very excited to have them in development!
* Tin Tan Tommy is a game played with an old tin can. After sorting out where ‘home’ was, one of the players threw the can as hard as they could down the street. Whoever was ‘it’ or ‘on it’ chased after the can, picked it up and ran backwards to the elected ‘home’ point. This was usually a small section of wall; a bollard or a lamp post.
While the tin can was being retrieved the other people ran and hid themselves. The person with the can had to search out the others and when one was spied, get back to the can. He would then bash it up and down on the wall, shouting “I see Johnny behind the red lorry”, and out would come Johnny from behind the lorry moaning because he was now ‘it’. If someone managed to get to the can and bash it before the searcher, then they were ‘safe’.
So as I said before, colorful characters indeed, the Hillary inspired single is out now and a brilliant video has been produced to accompany it….
Also the single can be downloaded here, so enjoy and be amazed!